Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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(352): View more from Florida

redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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(214): View more from Texas

I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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(845): View more from New York

When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?

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