you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
