I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
