Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
