About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
