you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
