I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She's JV to your varsity
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
