oh god the rape fog is back!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
