So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
