If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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