Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
