He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
