Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
