I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
well, you know. whores of a feather.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
