went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
