she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i've created a new STD.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize