Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?

(810): View more from Michigan

humiliate her

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(804): View more from Virginia

i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....

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(813): View more from Florida

sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

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(314): View more from Missouri

You are a booty call, not a friend.

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(727): View more from Florida

"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him

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