Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to jail i love you
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
