It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
