We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
