they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize