Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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