he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
