Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
