I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
