...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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