So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
