"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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