2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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