he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
