id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
