she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
