sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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