I CAN MOONWALK!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
