I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
