This girl is more easily done than said...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
