Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
