hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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