I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
