Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
