It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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