Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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