How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
