garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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