its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
