i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
