am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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