yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
