last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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