Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
