No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
