I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
