It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
