$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
