batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
