yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
