I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
