yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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