I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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