another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize